Advice from an Elder Transitioning

Advice from an Elder Transitioning

by Margie Yohn | June 2023

I'm now an elder transitioning through life and change is inevitable and necessary.

I lived with my elderly grandmother in her home while I attended college in the early 80's. She was the proud owner of 1/2 a house; Aunt Helen, her oldest sister, lived in the other half. I remember my great Aunt Helen, who was in her 80's, tell me, "Time speeds up the older you get. If I was you, I'd be swinging those legs from a barstool." Advice that Gram and my mother did NOT appreciate. Aunt Helen had a lot of great stories about the Roaring 20's, prohibition and jumping out of the windows of speakeasies to run from the cops. She was a bona fide 'flapper.' All I know is my Gram thought she was a bad influence and I was banned from visiting her for 2 weeks after that barstool comment. Turns out, the first part of that advice is very true. Time does seem to be going by faster the older I get. 
Over the weekend, I was reminded of how much 'aging well' has a huge impact on quality of life. Like many people 50+, we have a lot of aunts, uncles and parents who are getting up there in years and dealing with a number of health issues. A lot of my friends have similar experiences. That made me think. With time going so fast, I need to made some decisions NOW if I want to improve my quality of life in the long-term. So, what can folks in the 50+ age group do now that will have lasting health benefits as they age?

1. Exercise.

I hate it! I do not find joy in any of it: yoga, exercise classes, cycling, treadmill, the list goes on. If I feel like it's something I must do, it becomes a chore and I eventually will not do it. I can't help it - I'm simply not disciplined enough. Then two things happened. First, we got a dog, Zeke, a labradoodle, and he loves 'walkies'. I simply can't resist the dilating pupils that fill his eyes with warm, adoring love. He sniffs at the leash and looks at me, back and forth, until I give in. After a couple of months of walking, my knees weren't as sore and my ankle felt so good the tiny limp went away. Second, my husband always wanted a pool since he had one growing up. So, we put in a pool. Suddenly I'm doing pool yoga, running in place, push ups, laps, stretches and all kinds of resistence exercises. Other aches and pains started going away. I actually lost a couple of pounds and got stronger overall. Ok, there might be something to the exercise thing.

Key Takeaway: Pick something you like doing.

2. Make quality choices.

Every other day, I pick Jake up and he home-schools in the afternoon. On those days, we grab lunch on the way home, watch 'Mythical Morning' [I think Rhett is funny], and chat during the ads. After trying all the variety of fast food, I've concluded that it's just not good and I feel terrible after eating it = Not quality. Most television shows, news, election coverage and politics = Not quality. Over the weekend, I reconnected with a cousin I hadn't talked to for a long time. We laughed, we cried, we reminisced - it was awesome. Quality. Playing with the dog, laughing with the neighbors, feeding chickens, studying the bible, picking veggies from the garden...Quality. I'm over eating bad food, keeping draining relationships and sitting through poor movies. I'm committed to feeding my body and mind well.

Key Takeaway: Start making better choices.

3. Stay Connected.

I used to collect rents occasionally for a guy I worked for. One of his renters was Mr. Backinstow. He was in his 80's, funny in a cantankerous way, never married, no kids, hated animals and bragged that he found people annoying and loved his solitary life. He died alone in his apartment and the guy I worked for and myself were the only ones who went to his funeral. Now, I'm sure Mr. Backinstow could have cared less, but I've never forgotten that. As I get older, I'm finding that it's easier to reach out to friends and family I haven't spoken with in a while and we're all feeling the same way - it's good to connect and catch up. Social media makes it easier to stay up to date in between conversations.

Key Takeaway: Get socially active.

There's so much more that could be added to this list like drink more water, slow down and smell the flowers, avoid stress, get more sleep, etc. All good stuff. One thing that's not on my list - swinging my legs from a barstool. Sorry, Aunt Helen, but I've come to realize that not all your advice was good. Possibly fun, but not good.

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